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13Jul2013 :)

This feeling and thoughts have been troubling me a lots and for years. Am i not a outgoing person who is so difficult to talk with or hang out with? To me, i always wish i am the someone who make lots of friends and easily hang out with people and there are many friend to be with. But most importantly is true friends. All these years I have being a stupid girl who have been treating you guys as true friend but u guys just treat as a extra one. Whenever there are outing, i am the last one to be inform or worse nvm being invited to. Making me feel really bad and disappointed in myself and feel so dumb. Come on, if i am that annoying or disgust to hang out with, could u guys just say it to my face instead of me like a stupid idiot keep waiting for the day. Truely, if u guys saw this post or what. I have to make it clear to, i am noy trying to piss u guys or hate u guys. Just wanna speak out from my heart. I really seriously hate the feeling of keep being left out and eventually whenever i wantrd to meetup, i am always the one planned and no one will be free and meet and in the end i am the only one left. ALONE AGAIN.I seriously hate the feeling of alone. But nowadays, i start liking shopping alone. Thanks.

I, myself also have my wrongs. For keeping it in my heart for that long. And now people questioning me wehther am i a not outgoing person, difficult to be along with. I starting to feel so stress about it. I know i always showing u guys the happy face but underneath it is a sad and disappointed face. I always trying my best to be a cheerful and happy person with people. But truely underneath it, i always that hurt, depressed!

Thanks to my dear babe, colleen, who have being with me all this tough time, keeping telling ne to be strong and be positive. Thanks gals. I will try my very best to be, and be who i am really am. Be confident and positive. That who i am i going to be.

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